Holding both ends of the emotional spectrum


In this episode of the Happiness Hive Podcast, Catherine chats to us and reflects on the last six months, riding the ups and downs of an emotional rollercoaster. Listen as she shares with us insights into her personal life that involve the death of a family matriarch and the excitement of a daughters wedding and just how she navigated the spectrum of emotions that have come up within these experiences.

In this episode you’ll also hear:
– the nuances of emotional complexity that came up around both of these life changing events
–  the surprising pattern that emerged for Catherine to bring awareness to within her family
– why journaling is such a powerful tool to hold us in periods of turmoil like this
– what giving voice to what you’re feeling can do for your energetic and spiritual selves
– how the magical moment of witnessing her daughter get married brought reflections of missing out on that with Catherine’s own Mother
– how Catherine is moving into this next stage of life as the custodians of the familial lineage… and so much more!

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Connect with Catherine here:

This podcast is produced by Nikki O’Brien from Quintessential Being


Read Full Transcript


Hi, welcome to the happiness hive Podcast. I'm Catherine Bowyer, and I am completely fascinated by people and what motivates them. I've spent the past three and a half decades specialising in mindset and human behaviour. And I've helped 1000s of people to create happy and amazing lives. And now I am super excited to be chatting with women from around the world who I have secret. And to be honest, not so secret crushes on their women who inspire me, I'm intrigued as to how they do life and what makes them tick. I want to find out the magic formula that makes them who they are. And at the end of the episode, I'd love for you to say, I'd like a little bit of what she's having. The conversations are real and raw. They're full of passion, inspiration, and lots of fun, and nothing is off limits. So grab yourself a cuppa, or pop on your trackie and go for a walk and join us for today's chat. There may just be that pearl of wisdom you need to hear. So let's shimmy on over and get started. By it's just me for this episode. This week, I've chosen to record a solo episode. And the reason being is this a lot that's been going on in my life. And I thought that that would be it'd be good to just record and reflect on some of the things that I've been going through and how I've been managing those because man, there has been a roller coaster of emotions the last six months that my husband John, his mother, she passed away last week. And it was a garden ish decline in February, she came to visit us in Canberra. She lives in Adelaide, which is in South Australia. And she came to visit us and just wasn't feeling well, while she was with us and said I think you should, you know, get good at going to the doctor when you get home. And she was diagnosed with bowel cancer, which was devastating. It was absolutely devastating. And to journey, since then she had an operation and actually became good and was living back at home. And then things suddenly decline and the journey. And I very consciously choose the journey with cancer and not the battle with cancer. It wasn't it was absolutely discomfort. There was a lot of discomfort, and it was not pleasant. But it certainly wasn't a battle. And she did die peacefully in the end. And John and I were both very thankfully, we were there with her. So that the last sort of six months with Val not being well. And there was many a time I think even in the last six weeks that probably we had been contacted by the doctors and the medical staff that you know, to get there quickly because I didn't think that she was going to make it and he kept going he's strong man, he was a strong, strong woman. Just last week was was the end of her journey on the earth plane which we're very, very, very sad about. And in the lead up what was happening parallel to that was my daughter was preparing for her wedding to be married. And there was so much joy and excitement about that, that in sort of that probably two weeks or a week before the wedding, we really weren't sure whether Val would be around or not she she wasn't going to be able to travel to the wedding. And John was sitting vigil by Val's bedside while Ellie was preparing for her wedding. And it was just I guess the thing for me was this heartbreaking journey that we had I was in we as a family. But I was feeling these extremes of the emotional spectrum that at one end, I was just so excited and joyful and just all the things that a mama bear, you know, when your daughter is getting married was just all this joy and excitement. Yet at the other extreme was John's mum was ending her journey in this lifetime and the pain and the sadness that I felt because


you know, John, he lost his dad before we got married. 27 years ago, he passed away he had a he had cancer as well. And, you know, Val's the last of our parents and just all the sadness and John was needing To travel back to Adelaide a lot in the last couple of weeks, and is that gut wrenching in sadness, and what it did was it brought up a whole lot of the residual grief room when my mum passed away when I was young. And it was just this melting pot of emotion Holy shit. It was this melting pot of emotions. And it was, it was almost like with what I have in my mind, you know, the movie Fantasia with Mickey Mouse, and he's staring this cauldron. I just felt that that was this cauldron of emotions that were like, Holy hell, I don't even know what to do with this. But one thing that kinda stuck with me is there was a lot of guilt there, there was a lot of guilt and I don't feel I don't generally feel a lot of guilt, but there's a lot of guilt that was kind of surfacing. And the guilt was around. In all honesty, for me, it was around the feeling of sadness, the John's mum about lately Lavers was overriding the the joy that I was feeling for ELLs wedding. And I felt guilty that I wasn't feeling excited for the wedding. And I was feeling guilty because John was coming back to Adelaide a lot. And I was feeling guilty because I wasn't there with him all the time. And I was feeling guilty. It was just a lot of guilt in all honesty, and I was just the other the emotion that I was feeling is I wanted to make it okay for everybody. I wanted to fix things for everybody. And that's an absolute pattern of mine. I guess it's a little bit of that piece, II Parkir taker role that I play. And I just wanted to fix things and make everybody feel okay, that I knew that I couldn't do that. I knew that we all had our own journeys and our own experiences. And really, others just want you to take away their pain or stop wanting to take everybody's pain away. But the thing for me when I was feeling that it was about not feeling that I could be happy for LTE, I really sat with that. And that's an old pattern. For me, that's an absolutely old pattern around when my mum passed away and this, this was never ever seen. But this was certainly a message that I took away from it is that it was not okay to be happy. You know, mom's passed away, we can't ever be happy again. But also we can't be sad, and we can't show our emotions. And we can't talk about our emotions. So we can't give voice to our emotions. So I really recognised that that was an old pattern that was really running at the base of a lot of these emotions that I was feeling. So what I do is I just sat with her. And what you know, why am I feeling that it's not okay to be happy for L Sure, John John's mums nearing the end of her life. And of course, it's about being sad. But why? Why is there such a strong feeling that I can't be happy. And I really sat with that and the old Hatton's, but what I did do differently this time, than what I did when I was younger, is I gave voice to those emotion, what giving voice to the emotions is speaking about it like,


you know, if you've been following me, I am. I love love, love journaling. So giving voice to my emotions was actually writing about them. It was writing about how I was feeling, and some of those very, very private, so that was not shared with anybody. But I also did share how I was feeling. I shared how I was feeling with L, we talked about that. I shared how I was feeling with John, I shared how I was feeling with other people in my inner circle. And I also shared with the public as well about, you know, some of the posts that I've been putting up are a reflection of some of the emotions that have been going on for me. So the real key for me that is different to how I've done things before is given voice and the reason I'm touching my throat here is the throat chakra that's about expressing ourselves and being able to give voice to what it is that we're feeling. And it was also about giving voice to the you know that those positive emotions but also the ones that were not nice, you know about the guilt as well. So I when I expressed that I feel guilty, even just saying that to myself, instead of stuffing that down, helps to free and release that. So that was a big difference or more than a lot of emotions going on the wedding was absolute that make absolutely beautiful. It was just perfect. So I got to experience something that I, you know, with my daughter that I didn't get to experience with my mum. And it was just such a wonderful, beautiful experience of a couple now on their journey of life. And also, John's mum passing as much as the journey, it has been sad, it's also being really quiet. She had a wicked sense of humour, and that has shone through, even right up to her final days, and it was very, very peaceful. In the end, John and I were both with her, we were able to be with her. And I really shifted my energy from wanting to fix things and take away people's pain, to just holding space. So they could about honouring their own process there. So I, I shifted my energy, about holding space, and not wanting to be the one that gets in and just makes it better for everyone. And I think reflecting like they've been really poignant, this last week particular has been really, really poignant. And, you know, it's such a significant point in my life. And something that I reflected on is I don't need to do live the same way that I did it. When the significant event as my mom passing, that I've learned a lot, I've got a lot more tools, and I'm able to navigate this next journey, you know, stage of my life differently, differently. And I guess that brings me because this, you know, who am I? Now I know a lot of women that I work with and talk with, they ask this, they ask themselves this question a lot as well, like, who am I? Now the kids have left home, John and I are empty nesters that we also are in this kind of still getting my head around this. But we are the grown ups in our family that our all of our four parents have passed away. And were the grownups and you know, the kids don't have any grandparents on our lineage. And what does that mean for what does life look like now, for Gemini, but also for our family? When where, you know, normally we come to Adelaide for Christmas and stay with John's Mum, you know, what does that mean? What does what does our Christmases look like? Now? You know, what does that mean for John and I moving into the next phase of our lives that nearing retirement? And what does that look like?


And you know, where the we want to be in our lives? And what do we want our lives to look like? Because really this the reflections of the last week I have the meaning of life and what what how do we live it, I really, really want to make sure that the next phase of my life is as good and even better than the last phases of my life. And I'm what I'm doing is I'm planting that seed and I'm letting it germinate. And the way that I guess my manifesting process, or it's really for me, it's about a co creation process, that I work in partnership with the universe to create what I want in life. What I do is there, it's an idea, really, it's a feeling where I feel it is in my gut. It's almost like this feeling throughout me that it's and I couldn't even articulate where that comes from. It's just a knowing. So it's something sparks my lights me up, lights me up. And so then I sort of say, well, what could that look like? What would I want to have happen in the next phase of my life? And I don't I don't get into I'm going to do this. And I'm going to do that. I actually let that sort of germinate. What could it look like? So John and I, we are nearing that will I don't even know retirements, a funny word for me. We're nearing a stage where life will be different. We have some options that we want to. There are some things in life that we want to do. And what I do is say well, what could that look like? What is it I would love to do in this next phase of my life? What would I love to have? Who would I love to be? And I just let those questions and when things come to me it's kind of like oh, that's exciting. That could be really cool. And they don't go oh, if that was going to happen. What do I know? had to do to make that happen? What would that look like? What would that look like? If I was going to follow through on these little ideas that are starting to germinate? What would that look like? What would we be doing? Where would we be living? Who would we be hanging out with? How would we spend our days? So germinating, germinating, and then part of my cocreation phase, the next bit is to start to put a little bit more structure, I start to get more specific, the closer I am, to what it is that I'm wanting to bring into my life, I get much more specific about what okay, if this is what I want? How am I going to make that happen? What do I need to do to bring that into my life? What resources do I need to have, you know, money? People? What resources do I need to have, I get very specific with setting goals and breaking it down into milestones of what I need to achieve. But it starts with that thought, from little things, big things grow from little seeds of inspiration. I've been let that kind of just, I think about that. And there are some things I can make happen really quick. We're still some some years away from the retirement, but it's getting stronger, getting closer. But one of the things that I that makes a really big difference for me, and I say this to my clients all the time. But how do I want to feel in this next phase of my life? How do I want to feel


in relation to the family? How do I want to feel in relation to the significant people in my life? How do I want to feel in relation to myself? How do I want to feel in relation to what I'm doing every day. And even when I'm thinking that now, I get the feelings of I want it to be joyful, I want it to be fun, I want it I want to feel that whatever I'm doing still has meaning and purpose to it. I want to feel, you know, love and peace and gratitude, I want to feel excitement. And I want to feel the warmth of the sun, I absolutely am manifesting us living by the beach, if people you know that that's my happy place. But I want to feel happy. And whatever it is that I'm co creating. If I get those feelings, then it doesn't really matter what the thing is that I'm doing because their feelings and the things that are important. I want to feel that I'm carefree and that I can do what you know that that I have the resources and the finances to be able to support me in what I'm doing. So the manifesting process is very big picture to start with. And I've just created a masterclass in the happiness Lounge, which is my membership club. And it is very much around this topic that the last masterclass was about bringing your dreams alive. And this is the process that I found in the master class. And so it's a quick little plug, if anybody wants to join the happiness lounge, the details in the show notes, you can come join, I would love to have you there. But it's about that big picture. How do I want to feel, you know, letting the seed germinate. Then starting to get more clarity around that I visualise a lot, I haven't got it here with me I'm in a different location. But I have a my vision book that has images of what I want in the next phase of my life. And they could represent the things that I'm wanting to bring into my life. So I look at that vision book, lots and lots and lots. And what I also do is I create a playlist, I've got my playlist that I that I access and with the music and the songs that I've chosen, they represent how I want to feel when I bring those things into my life. So when I'm looking at my vision book, when I'm I also listened to my playlists I listened to that playlist in the car all the time and what that's doing is it's bringing in that those feelings and it's actually shifting my vibration so I'm at that vibration level of what I'm wanting to attract into my life. So when I'm in a manifestation mode, I'm so on in manifestation mode, and it's it's exciting. I get really excited there was something yesterday like I'm studying as well, spiritual psychology and we have a class once a month, it's a full weekend class. And I'm studying through an American university. So the time is ridiculous o'clock. So I start at 1am. And it goes through to 11am, for two days, once a month. And yesterday in class, there was this idea that this shot into my head from no way out. And I went, almost denied from nowhere, I know exactly where it was from Thank you spirit. But this idea is something that I had thought about, I would say, maybe some five or six years ago, and it shot into my head, and it was like this can happen. Now. This can actually happen now. So what I'm doing is the idea is going on. Okay. So if that would happen, how could that happen? What would that look like? What would I be doing that what are the resources I need to make it happen, and I reckon it's going to happen pretty quickly, in all honesty, and it's something to do with my business. And I'm excited, like, I get a sense that when it's, when it's a thing that I'm going to pursue, there is this feeling of excitement through my whole body, but, but what


I quite often get lots and lots of ideas, I get really, really excited about them, and then I can't do them all, this is one, this has a very, very different energy to it. And this is about I know that this will happen. So stay tuned for more details around that. And, you know, maybe just to wrap up that the events of the last week, and a bit and, you know, in recent, you know, the recent events, they're sort of different phases of life that, you know, the renewals. Ellie, you know, in this next phase of her life, you know, the, even the renewal of Val leaving us and what that means for us a family, you know, birth, death, they book and our lives, you know, what we put on the pages of the books in between the bookings, you know, what we make our lives to be, that's really up to us, that is absolutely up to us. And I would maybe, you know, get you to reflect on your lives about, are they what you want them to be? What would you like, to have happen in your life, and dare yourself to dream big, and to dream really, really big? You know, what would you love to have happen in your life? Who would you love to be in your life? What would you love to have in your life? What would you love to do? And just go nuts. And, you know, just put it all down, come up with your, your bucket list, it doesn't all have to happen now. But if you start, if you allow yourself to dream big, then you can actually choose from that that list of things that you want to do. You can say, well, what ones of those do I actually want to bring into my life? And then start to get more clarity around what that could look like for you. How would you be feeling in relation to that, and start to break it down into goals and, and milestones about what you can achieve. And my key is, you know, take one step at a time. You don't have to do it all now. But if you just do something every day to move forward to that to move forward. So you can live that life that you want, then you'll get to the end of your life and there won't be any regrets. I think I mentioned in my my last podcast about my rocking peer test, I imagined myself sitting in a rocking chair when I'm, you know, in my 90s on the front veranda of my home, overlooking the ocean, and I'm sitting in that rocking chair looking back on life, and just no regrets, no regrets. So it starts with you. And I guess from the reflections of the last little period has allowed me just to share some of them so thank you so much for taking time to listen and we'll be back with guests and our will be popping up from time to time with solo little solo episodes. So hugs and happiness to you and may your life be absolutely amazing and awesome and beautiful. See ya. Bye. Thank you for listening. Have you enjoyed the episode? You can spread the love by sharing it with a friend so she can have a little bit of what we had today. Don't forget to rate and rate view so we can get it into as many hearts and ears as possible. You can keep the conversation going on my happiness hive socials. And if you'd like some more high vibe happiness in your life, come and join me in our community of inspired and motivated women at the happiness lounge. This is my online membership club, and your central hub for everything you will need to be truly happy and bounce out of bed every day living and loving your best and most beautiful life. To find out more pop over to the happiness hive website and click on the link working with Catherine. Until next time, Big hugs and happiness