00:00

Oh my gosh, I am really looking forward to today's podcast chat, as I always am, I had the good fortune of sitting next to today's guest at an networking dinner recently, and we just had such a beautiful conversation. I wanted to continue it here. Olivia is a young woman embarking on an exciting journey of self discovery, and working out what's next in her life. And that is just a topic that I am, you know, a topic at my heart. And I so really excited to chat with Olivia and to see where she's at in the process and what she's going through. Because it reminds me of, you know, when I was a similar age and on a similar journey, and I'm really looking forward to today's chat to, like compare notes, but to look at it through refreshed eyes of somebody who's embarking on their journey. So Olivia, welcome to the podcast. I'm so glad you're here.

00:57

Thank you so much for having me, Catherine. It's such an honour, and I feel so excited and just pitching myself because as you know, once we met at that networking event, I've absolutely loved your podcast. I've really loved listening to other women. And I really aspire to, I guess, get that level of insight and self discovery. And so it was a bit of a pinch me moment when you asked me to come on. So I'm really excited to be here.

01:22

Oh, I love that. And it was just that the podcast is about women at all stages of life sharing their journey. And I thought it was super exciting, because it is a sort of discovery it is. And that's not to say that we only do that when we're young, but it's embarking on something that is, you know, what do you want your life to be like, and I just love that so much. And you're a similar age to my daughter who's going through a similar journey as well. So that's super cool to be able to compare notes there. So Olivia, we both live in Canberra at the moment we met in Canberra. And for those are international listeners, that's the capital of Australia, but you haven't always lived here. Have you?

02:05

You know, I've been here since July 2020. So last couple of years. Yeah, right.

02:15

So tell me, where did you grow up?

02:17

I'm from a small country town in Queensland called Texas. And everyone gets really disappointed. It's not America when I say that. So I spend a lot of time there. But I predominantly grew up in Brisbane, Texas is just a really small town and my mum was a single mom, so she didn't want me to have to go off to boarding schools. We moved to Brisbane when I was quite young. But I did spend quite a bit of time in Texas because my grandparents were there and I'd spent my holidays out there and yeah, what's the population

02:44

just for our, probably our Australian listeners and also international Where is Texas in Australia?

02:53

It's under Queensland, New South Wales border. So it's out west it's quite remote. There's, I would say roughly 1000 people so it's, it's really quite small.

03:02

Yeah. And that would have been a big step for your mum to being a single mum. And then I'm earthlife to help support you. How beautiful is that? Yeah.

03:13

Love. Like my mom has always been a nomad. She She has travelled Well, she's moved quite a bit. She had lived in Brisbane, and she'd lived in other country towns. Yeah, for her. She just knew that that wasn't the life that she wanted. For me, a vote for us really like she didn't want to be separated from me. I think you could go to grade 10. But really, I think most kids were leaving for grade eight. And it

03:40

isn't it. That's a big decision about, you know, if you think about now that you're embarking on your journey of what's next in life. It was doing something very similar, you know, bringing up, you know, a baby, Do you have brothers and sisters? Do you have siblings?

03:56

I have half siblings that I didn't grow up with any siblings. So I grew up as an only child, my mom's only child, but I was really lucky. My mom had a couple of brothers. So I have you know, quite a few cousins. And I've got you know, my mom's family are amazing. So I definitely didn't miss out. A family wise. I have the best family. Yeah, I do have some siblings from my dad's side.

04:20

Okay. Yeah. So that would have been, you know, that would have been, you know, big decisions for your mom to make you and thinking about what is going to be good for you both moving,

04:30

moving away from her sort of network in the country to Yeah,

04:36

wow. That's a strong woman to be able to do that. So you you grew up in Brisbane, predominantly went to school in Brisbane? Yeah. So that's in Queensland for those that are not familiar with Australia. And then what happened after school? What did you do after school?

04:52

I wasn't that sure on what I wanted to do. I sort of thought maybe psychology and maybe arts. My mum was really pushed You need to do something creative because she knew that was my strong suit. But I don't know, there was something that was really holding me back from embracing the arts. Interesting. Definitely wasn't family pressure. My mom was really like, you're so creative, you should do something in that area. But there was something in me that was like, No, it's not a real job. I have to go get something interesting.

05:21

Oh, my gosh, that's interesting, isn't it?

05:25

Yeah. It's been interesting, because now I'm a photographer. You You land on your feet eventually. But um, I did actually go and study Creative Industries, which is a really wishy washy degree, and I wasn't enjoying it. So then, about six months into my studies, I looked into applying to join the army.

05:49

Well, creating army Yes,

05:52

yeah, it's right. And that was a struggle within itself. But by eventually got in, I was accepted. So the following year, so studying in 2013, in 2014, I enlisted. And I was, I was taking like, this is just a bit of an adventure. I've only got to be here for a year. That was my contract. Yeah, you know, it'll be completely different to anything I've done. I'll meet some amazing friends. And then I'll come back and study it was almost like my version of a gap year,

06:23

gap year in the in the armed forces.

06:26

Yeah, just like travelling the world. And I loved training training was really, it was awful. And it was amazing that there was just things that I'd never done things that I would never experience, unless I joined the armed forces, and you're doing it with 60 other people. So you get these really close connections. And it's, yeah, I think for me, it was really worthwhile, the training aspect of it. And then I got posted down to Adelaide. Yeah. And that was amazing. That's my favourite city in Australia.

07:01

Were you when this was happening? How old were you? I was 19. You were young? Yeah. 19. So you went to uni? In a year of uni or roughly been enlisted in the in the army? Yeah. Training and then got posted to a city away from where did you do your training? Was that in?

07:24

Its curtain Wagga? Wagga? Yes. My

07:27

neck of the woods? Yeah. So that's, that's my local. Yes.

07:32

Yeah. And I think when you're training your there's so many people, everyone's in the same boat that you almost don't even think about your life before, just so you're so focused on what you're doing and getting through the week. It was only when I finished my training. And I got posted to Adelaide that it sort of clicked that I had left home. I heard out like it was actually quite a shock to be like, Oh, I'm not living in Brisbane with my mum anymore. Yeah,

08:00

it's interesting. Yeah,

08:02

I got really lonely.

08:05

When you went to Adelaide,

08:07

yeah, I think I just wasn't prepared for, you know, you go through school, every experience I had had, you're surrounded by so many people doing similar things. And moving to Adelaide was a shock, I was pressed into a really small unit. There weren't that many people there. And to be fair, I made some amazing friends. But it was just such a different experience from what I had had. You know, that's interesting,

08:30

isn't it? Because I and I've got a lot of friends that have that are in the armed forces. And I've kind of heard different stories of training and the the like, but it's interesting that you do all of this very intense training, then you go to your placement, like your first placement. And then it's just like, oh, my gosh, my world is different here. So did that take a bit of adjusting to?

08:57

It does, and the training is so intense, and you're you're not making any decisions? You know, you're asking other adults, if you can go to the bathroom, like that's the sort of level of you're not making any decisions to then be sort of thrown back out into the world. And it's quite jarring to be like, Oh, actually, I have to take over my life again. Interesting. Yeah. Yeah. So, I mean, they do it for a reason. You obviously have to be able to follow orders. But it is, you know, those first couple of months after training is quite jarring to be like, alright, yeah, no, I have control over my life again, kind of,

09:34

yeah, so what were you doing in Adelaide? What was your job there? In there?

09:38

I was a clerk. So admin. Yeah, yeah. And it definitely wasn't the job for me, you know, but I never plan to stay. I sort of thought this will be a year of doing something completely different and then I'll go back, but the thing you don't realise is once you start getting paid, it's actually really hard to walk away from money.

10:00

Gotta take a walk, I get that I do a lot of work with people. And I call it the golden handcuffs, that they're kind of handcuffed to something that's paying them. Well, often it's about superannuation, I can't leave this job because my superannuation or my money or whatever, but they hate what they're doing. And I'm not saying that you hated what you were doing. But a lot of people I work with are in their staying in their jobs for the financial security.

10:27

Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, and how long?

10:32

You would have been 20?

10:34

Yeah, yeah. And getting paid quite well. And I was, you know, talking to my friends who had gone to high school with who was studying and they were in a very different financial situation. And you sort of just appreciate, oh, this is actually not bad. I

10:48

don't. Yeah. So how long did you stay doing that for?

10:52

I did that for three years. And then it just got to the point that I really wasn't enjoying. I wasn't join, enjoying being in Adelaide, because I hadn't put in the effort to make a solid group of friends. I wasn't enjoying the work, I knew wasn't what I wanted to do. And I wasn't seeing anyone, you know, in this career, who I really wanted to be I didn't look around and go, oh, I want to be Yeah. And that was really tough. Because I didn't want to go back to the degree I had been studying. I didn't want to be doing what I was doing. And I was I was feeling really lost. And I also didn't want to let down my family by leaving this great job. And yeah, yeah. So it just came down to I went home, and I was spending some time with my mom. And she saw how she could see. Yeah, she could see. And she was really encouraging me to explore other options, look at other degrees, and I found a degree of landscape architecture. And it was an area that I had never, I'd never known about. And it really intrigued me. As soon as I started reading about it, I felt really passionate. And yeah, I, I left a fence while I left full time I became a reservist, I moved back to Brisbane, I moved back in with my mom, and I started studying again, well,

12:11

I'm just gonna, before we unpack all of that, there's a couple of things there that stand out for me is that you trusted deca, that, you know, things just weren't really pushing your buttons for you, you could sort of you know, even though you were earning great money, the job itself wasn't really fulfilling you. And then getting insight, you know, talking to my mom's always great, you know, sometimes we overstep our mark, but try not to, but it's about getting a different perspective from somebody that knows you and trusts you and they could see, you know, your mom could say that you weren't as happy as things are wanting the best for you and then offering, you know, helping you to look at some alternatives, which is great. And then when you said the landscape architecture just intrigued you, there may be a little clues as well about, you know, oh, this is interesting. It might not be, and I want to come back and find out whether you did end up being a landscape architect, but it might not be the thing you do, but it's giving you some clues as to what the next steps might be. Yeah, what did you do? What did you do? Did you study I

13:17

did, I studied for three years, and I ended up working. I think, partway through my first year, I was really lucky. I had been working as a reserve in the army. And then I looked for a job, a job sorry, in landscape architecture. And I secured an admin job that also had graphic design. And then through the next couple of years studying, they were getting me out onto site. And they were sort of really preparing me to be part of the company fully. And it was an amazing company, I was really lucky to work there. I made some great friends. And I had a really good experience. But waiting for the bottom. That again, I was just feeling like I really enjoyed the first couple of years studying and I felt it was really creative and really collaborative. And then working in the space, the reality of legislation and red tape and, you know, all the other sort of industries working together. It wasn't exactly what I wanted to do. And that that was scary again, because I was like, Well, I've done this other thing, and I'm not loving it again. And my mum was sort of saying at this point, you know, you kind of need to stick to a career and you're not going to love everything about a job, which I think is very sensible. But another opportunity arose to become a photographer in the military. Okay, yeah, I just jumped.

14:53

So it's almost combining, isn't it? How? I I'm just a strong believer that we're here on this. You In this lifetime, and the universe presents us what we need. And it was also for you to get back into the military is kind of where you had spent some time. So you knew the environment, but it combined your creative elements as well. So photography within military. Yeah, very, very cool. Very cool.

15:19

Yeah. And it was a really, it's a really selective core to get into, there's only about 15 to 20 members who are actually photographers in the army. So I just, I couldn't believe this opportunity was coming my way. And, you know, when I was telling friends and family that I was considering doing this, they were sort of, you know, quite taken aback because they knew that I hadn't enjoyed it previously. And for me, I was approaching it. Well, maybe it's the the amount of creativity I want with the security of defence. So I was somehow convinced that I could do the job. I was one of two female photographers. So I mean, defence is obviously a very male dominated, but even that, that trade was incredibly male dominated. And, yeah, I ended up dancing my course, I got posted to Canberra. And that's how I got here.

16:19

Ah, interesting. Before I talk about what you're doing now, one other little thing that popped out there for me, Olivia is often our friends are very well meaning. And when we share things with them, they give us advice, based on their view of the world. And often sometimes it's great advice. Sometimes it's a little bit misdirected, because they're not really sure about who we are and what we want. So I'm very selective about who want to share stuff with and what, what advice or what I'm absolutely about running things by people, but not everybody. Because I know there are some people in my world that, you know, they might tell me what I want to hear. Or they might just go Yeah, yeah, that'll never work. Because it's like, how do you bloody No. I think that's interesting that, you know, our friends are well meaning. And sometimes they can see stuff. Sometimes they can be great because they can see stuff that, you know, we have blinkers on, and they say things from a different perspective. So I'm quite discerning about who? Who are my go to people for different things. I didn't relate to that at all.

17:31

Well, it was really interesting, because when I was making this decision, there were almost two camps. My friends who were my age, they were the ones who were telling me no, no, you've got to stay. You've got to, you know, continue doing what you're doing. And I almost feel in reflection. We were all feeling that pressure to settle down and find a thing that, you know, we're good at. And my mom's friends, you know, people who weren't as emotionally connected to me. They were just thinking about it from their, their perspective. And they were saying jump do it, you know, you'll You won't regret it, you can always come back to this if that's what you want. And it was really interesting that the older generation, were telling me to go and do something completely new take a risk. And my friends were sort of saying, Oh, are you sure you want to start up something new once again?

18:27

I wonder, I wonder if that comes from. And it's probably not always the way but lived experience about maybe some the older people in your life, maybe they have learned some lessons. And they're giving you some advice from their view of the world. Maybe Maybe they are giving advice from some of their regrets as well. I'm just thinking, I'm just playing out some scenarios in my life of where that's happened to me and where I've maybe done that for other people as well. I think mine comes from almost lessons learned and wanting others to, you know, maybe benefit but everybody's got their own lesson lessons that they need to experience as well.

19:09

Yeah, absolutely. And I mean, I'm so grateful that I decided to take that path and get me to where I am.

19:18

So what are you doing now? You still I know you're a photographer? Yeah. Are you still a photographer in the military?

19:25

At the start of last year, I did transition from full time to reserve. It was really busy to be full time I was awake quite a lot. And I just realised that I wasn't in Canberra enough. I wasn't establishing the sort of connections that I wanted going forward with my life. And I decided to transition out to become a reserve and then I started my own business. So now I run my own business in Canberra, and I work as a reservists for the military. So I've got a bit of best of both worlds. That's right. Yeah.

20:00

Yep. You know, it's interesting, where you're saying that too is that you realise that you weren't making the connections here in Canberra. And that seems to have been a bit of a pattern when you were in Adelaide, you know, not making the connections there had an impact on your life experience. So can you was that something directly you thought about,

20:23

or it really was I was very intentional coming back in because I knew how, how it affected my mental health in Adelaide. And it was a major reason why I left events. Yes. And then coming back in it was something that I knew I needed to focus on. Because otherwise I'd end up back in the exact same position.

20:43

Love it, love about the lessons, you know, what are the patterns? What are the lessons and being I really love how you say about being intentional? As to what you want this experience to be like? Yeah, because you know, repeating the patterns, repeating some patterns are great, but repeating patterns that were things that we don't want in life, that's not so great. That's not so good.

21:06

Yeah. And I had made some really good friends. When I first moved to Canberra, and all credit to them. I've travelled so much within events, and they have always been here when I've come back. But it was, it was just that I really wanted to establish strong connections and focus on creating a life. And I had met my partner at the time and then gone away for four months. And it was just realising that the things that I want my life, were going to be really hard to achieve. If I was always going away without it wasn't my decision to go,

21:41

you know, you're doing it for the job is that it's not that you're doing it with, you know, friends to go on a holiday and things that yes, I absolutely get that. And what I'm hearing is that you've, you know, really starting to become really clear about things that are important to you in life and living your life in alignment with those and forging that, that path forward with your own business. And you know, you've got your creativity, you've got your photography, business. What else so so what are you thinking about? Because when we started this podcast, it was around, you know, your journey of self discovery. We've talked about some of the elements of that. What's that journey, kind of looking like for you from where you're at right now? And I know that that's a very big and broad question. But just throw something at me with me. And we'll follow that up.

22:35

I think and listening to your podcast has actually been a really big help. But I think I'm just realising, I know nothing. I don't, I don't know myself, I don't really know what makes me happy. I don't know the direction I want to take. I feel almost like a baby that's starting to realise all these skills that I want to be able to do. Yeah, but I have to find a way to do them. I'm, you know, I sort of, there are aspects of myself, of my emotions. I'm a really emotional person that I want to sort of work on going forward that I have been working on on the last couple of years. But I suppose it's, I'm, I'm only just starting to realise I know nothing. And I want to know myself more. You know, I want to work on that.

23:28

Do you know that what you've said there? I would challenge the fact that I think you do know, probably more than you think you do at this stage about yourself, but it's about, you know, getting the clarity around, you know, who is Olivia? And how do you want to show up? And what are the elements of moving forward. And that's I find that really, really common with a lot of women, not at you know, at all stages of life, because life changes. And sometimes, you know, when you talked about that you studied, then you entered the military. And then you got this inkling about actually, that's not really what I want to do. For me, that's really common for a lot of people that they go through things, and then go are actually this hasn't turned out the way I wanted it to or even when you were talking about the landscape architecture, that it's kind of like Oh, actually, that's not really what I thought it was going to be. So what's next and sometimes that what's next is that, almost like that, Kevin of you know, that void of the feeling of not knowing. And it's I refer to that, you know, we go through these different learning and growth stages, and one of them is this unconscious incompetence. And it's like, we don't even know what we don't know. And it's that blissful ignorance that we kind of just go along with life and sometimes that can be really great and beautiful. And sometimes we just don't don't even know what opportunities are there. We don't really know ourselves or we haven't, we maybe have lost sight of ourselves, we've lost connection with who we are, or we haven't quite made that connection. And it's probably where you're hovering around at the moment kind of going in. I know there is some things that that I want in life that are important to me. But it's putting the pieces of the puzzle together is how I see it, I see sort of those pieces of the puzzle. So what are some of the things that you do to get to know, what are you doing to sort of explore who you are a little bit more,

25:38

think slowing down, and just being really intentional and thinking, thinking about decisions before I make them, really trying to have a bit of self talk in a talk instead of listening to music all the time, you know, when I go for a walk, just going for a walk and putting different ideas, you know, in front of myself, and what do I gravitate towards? What do I really want asking myself hard questions, because I think it's easy to just go through life, and focus on what's happening right now. And the next sort of step that I need to take career wise, or relationship wise, that actually becoming a bit more intentional and trying to curate it a bit more with, what do I want is, is the path that I'm on the path that I want to be on. And as you know, as we've spoken about, I've jumped ship so many times. And that's been really fun. And so I'm thinking is, is the path that I'm on now, where I want my future to go. And, you know, as I said, I'm just at the beginning of that journey, there are so many unknown questions, I definitely need to start journaling would be really helpful.

26:58

Actually, we talked about live and I caught up for a coffee, and we were talking about journaling, like I love people who listen to the podcast, I'm sure they note that I love journaling, and I do different types of journaling. And sometimes, just even you know, when you're working out what you want in life is just to ask that question, what would I like in life? What would I like my life to be like? And for some people, it's like, well, I want to be a photographer, I want to be a landscape designer, I want to work in the military, they, some people, they're very specific about the, you know, the thing that they want to do, I think that's great. Where I come from is because I've never been specific about the thing I wanted to do. It's more about how, what experiences do I want in life, what's important to me to have in my life. And that gets down to my values. And one of the biggest things that I do is how do I want to feel? How do I want to feel in the different areas of my life? You know, how do I want to feel in relation to myself? How do I want to feel in relation to my family and my husband? How do I want to feel at work? How do I want to feel in relation to my finances and the things that I have in life? And when I think about how do I want to feel? Sometimes life presents those things in a way that I haven't even if I say I want to feel that way, because I want to be x. If I attach to that outcome of being x, sometimes that's not what life has planned. And then I get, you know, people tend to get disappointed if they really attached to an outcome. But when we attach to how we want to feel, the outcome is kind of just a byproduct of that. I don't know if that makes sense to you.

28:53

I resonate with that so much, Catherine, because I've never, I think that's the thing that's been missing. I've never said I want to be a photographer, Landscape Architect. Yeah, I've never had that thing to go, okay. I can walk work towards that. Yeah. And I think, you know, up until this point, I really been searching for that thing. That's going to make me happy. Well, I'll become a photographer. And then yeah, life's going to be on track, I'll be happy and you know, I can focus on all these other things. But instead, I'm starting to come to the conclusion that maybe I need to focus a little more on how I feel and you know, what I want, emotionally, rather than one career path or, you know, one city being the thing that clicks. Yeah, yeah. And so it's just a whole change in perspective and my thinking and realising that is so exciting because it's like, Ah, it's almost like a weight off my shoulders like, Okay, I know that there's not a career that I've been Trying to do that I think we'll be filming. It's more experiences. And, you know, I was saying to you the other day when we caught up, I wanted to travel. Ever since high school, I've wanted to travel, and I've done a little bit. But that is something that I've wanted to do so much, but I've put it to the side, because I've had to focus on my career and doing these things. And now I'm starting to think maybe I should focus on the thing that I know I've wanted to do. And maybe everything else will sort of fall into alignment.

30:30

Oh, my gosh, I and I, I agree with that. And you still need to kind of it's not, I'm not a person that says if you just think that it will happen. It's about think it, feel it, and do some stuff to help, you know, bring those things into your life. So I'm absolutely about, you know, planning and goal setting, but the emphasis isn't on the outcome. It's on how I want to feel and the things that I want to bring into my life. And the outcome kind of happens as a byproduct, if that makes sense. So I'm shifting my focus from doing to kind of being and then the doing sort of happens from that, from that. So it is a it's a subtle shift. But it's a really powerful shift. And what I've learned over the years is to let go of the, you know, the attachment to the outcome. Because if things don't turn out who I how I specifically planned and you know, had the nth degree of detail, that's where my disappointment comes from. So I've learned to let go of that I still work towards goals, but without as much of a stranglehold on them. Yeah, yeah.

31:50

Yeah. And I think for me, you know, I'm, I'm a planner, I love organising. So I think I really have been trying so hard to find something that will give me at all, and having listened to your podcast, I know, that's, that's just not possible. There's not going to be one thing that fulfils my every, you know, need and desire. It is about really focusing on a bit more about me what makes me happy and asking these questions. And I'm almost embarrassed to say that I don't know. You know, it's, I don't know, what makes me happy outside of little day to day things like spending time with my partner or my cat or, you know, doing a trip. But yeah,

32:35

you know, don't don't be embarrassed by that at all. I think that's a really common thing. I think that's actually probably more common than you think. People get so caught up in the busyness of life that they, you know, feel good about life. But when I asked the question, What makes you know what, you know what things make you happy? Sometimes that can be really hard for people to articulate. And that could be a really good thing to even just in your journal, when you get your in your journal, is just what things make me happy and just sit with it? And where do I feel joy? Where do I feel? You know, that that positive feeling? Where are the feelings of I could sit and do this? You know, you get lost in doing? You know, who are the people that I feel good being around? And you know, I don't think it's about sit down and come up with the answer. in one sitting, I think it's an evolution, especially when we're talking live about being at the beginning of the journey of that self exploration. It's a lifelong journey. I'd say that you've probably not right at the beginning, but you probably had a fairly significant point around, or where am I now? And where would I like to be? And just even when you sit with that question, Where am I now? And where would I like to be? trust those feelings that come up for you, and then you'll start to get little Inklings. And then you'll start to go, oh, actually, I feel really happy when I'm around other people that I connect with, and I have similar values and interests too, and makes me happy people are happy, you know, so it's not a I don't think it's a definitive list list. And I think my list, you know, there are some cool things there. But there's other stuff that, you know, comes and goes off that list as well. That I think that would be a very cool thing to just even sit with. And when I say that journaling, like I, for me when I write in a journal, that's a connection between me and my higher

34:47

self spirit

34:49

guide. You know, I can do it without journaling, but it's really powerful when I journal, a lot of other people can still ask those questions and not write it down and it can be as equally powerful For. I remember when I was leaving, deciding to leave a really great job and starting my business that I had this inkling that, you know, I wanted to have my own business. And I just asked the question, you know, what, what could that be? What will it be? But what could it be? So every morning when I went on my my walk, I just asked that same question, what could it be if I was to start my own business? And I would just take notice of little feelings that I would get. And, you know, I love clothes, I love style, I love helping people to feel good. So one of the options was to be a stylist. And it's like, well, if I was a stylist, what could that look like? And then there'd be other feelings coming up our year, but I really love coaching and training and the consultancy. Okay, if I was to do that, what could that look like? And I just asked that question, what could it look like? What could it look like? And every morning, I would get, you know, often the same answer the next day, I'd get something different. But I reckon that was probably a 12 month period, where I was just what could that look like? And then it was just the same thoughts started coming up and coming up and coming up, it's like, okay, so this is, this is where I'm fit. It might be that that was feeling journal about that, I would ask the questions about that. And it was just about tapping into insights and, and following them, some of them. You know, I look back on and going, Oh, my God, what was I even thinking, but they're just little details that life gives you to check whether you're really serious about what you want, or

36:45

I just know, you know, over the last year running my own business, it might not be the perfect fit. But gosh, I feel so empowered. And I feel like I'm taking charge, I'm starting to really be intentional with the direction I set and with the things that I do and the jobs that I take on for my business. And it just that shift going from defence where they're giving you jobs, you're doing, you know, a few different things a week, you don't really get a say in the matter. It's just whoever's available to now. Well, it's my business. This is, this is the way I want to present myself, these are the sorts of jobs I want to take on. These are the sort of clients I want to work with. And being able to think about that and really go Who, who do I want to be in this business? Who do I want to work with? And asking those questions has been so empowering for me. And I think it has sparked asking myself deeper questions about who I am and what I want from life.

37:48

Yeah. Oh, my gosh, I love that so much. And I think the element of being intentional is who do I want to work with? How do I want to show up and I would say one of the things that's really important for you, one of your values is about being in control of your and it's not about being in control, you know, this stranglehold of being in control of your destiny, and not having your destiny dictated to us. So, very, very similar. Um, I can see so many similarities from, you know, my journey when I was exploring the same sort of thing. And when I left when I was talking before about starting my own business, I left an incredible job. It was with a team of like an organisation, it was almost like the ideal job, but there was one element missing. I was never going to be the ultimate decision maker there. I was never ever going to be the boss of that business. And that was the thing I needed. I needed to be the ultimate decision maker for my business and my work and it's kind of like, ah, if I'm going to be the ultimate decision maker, where do I get to be the ultimate decision maker? You know, there are some jobs but you know, maybe your own business. Ah, okay. I

39:07

agree. What that so much. Yeah, yeah. And that's the thing. It's not about being chokehold can fall. But it's just that like, for me, I think it was the quiet confidence in knowing that I was capable. And I because I had done quite a few jobs. Previously, I was in that really Junior role. I was so eager to just take, you know, to have a bit more responsibility. And it was actually in defence. I went to Vanuatu performance, and it was during COVID. And so the numbers were really limited of how many people could go. And so I went over there as the reporter, as the videographer as the photographer, and I do all these things as such a junior photography class, and without that other person there to go Was this Okay? Should I be doing it like this? How would you do it? You just learn to rely on yourself to figure things out and come up with solutions in the moment where as previously I might have, you know, panicked and asked someone else. And that's self reliance. I came back to Australia and I was like, I'm so ready to be to be doing this for myself. And it's the best move I could have made. I have so much more confidence having run my own business. And yeah,

40:32

as you that's, that's beautiful to hear that, you know, is it a sink or swim situation, maybe it's about coming up with your own decisions, that how empowering that is, to know that you can do it, and then knowing that you can bring that forward into whatever you're going to do next. And I would encourage you, whatever you're going to do next, know that that you've got that confidence, that belief that those days when I experienced them, those days when I just go, oh, man, what am I even doing here? Like, I just got no idea. Yeah, it's about coming back to that anchor point. And going actually, I got this, I might not know the exact answer now. But I know how I can actually work through it. Oh, my gosh, that's so good. So what do you think is next for you live? I know, we're sort of talking about, you know, not sure. What are the next steps in your journey? Do you think?

41:26

I think getting really clear on what I want. And I know, I really want to travel, that's something that I wanted to do since I was in high school. And I think it's, I think it's the time to start prioritising those deep desires in if it's if I felt like this, you know, for 10 plus years, it's probably time to start. So I think I really want to travel, I'd love to live overseas. So that's a possibility. Even just getting more clear on what I want the direction my business to take, you know, when I started, it was quite a wide, I'll do anything. And the longer it's gone on, I really like narrowed it down to actually being a bit more deliberate these clients I want to work with, and there's still so much progress to go there. So I don't know. But

42:21

I think I think you've just outlined just more clarity around you know, what, what you want in life to be like, I think you've also said about that. Travelling that living overseas. And I think I shared this with you. But the my rocking chair test when I'm, you know, in the latter stages of my life, and sitting in my rocking chair on the front veranda of my house, thinking back on life, I don't want there to be regrets when I'm thinking about life. And that's the regrets of not having done something, maybe doing something that's a bit dumbass. But I don't want there to be regrets in life. So I often think about, what would I be thinking in my rocking chair? If I was to do this or not to do this? Is it something I'm gonna regret? And I don't want I mean, I, I do have regrets. It's just like, Oh, bloody Hill. What was I thinking that and that being? Just following your passions, following your passions, and it sounds like travelling, I think definitely one for you. Yeah,

43:28

I'm just so excited because I know that I've had so many opportunities already in life. And I'm so young and excited to be making those really intentional decisions going forward.

43:39

Yes. Yeah. That's very cool. Live, where can our listeners find you? We've got that we've got the details in the show notes, but Instagram.

43:47

Yeah, Instagram is all of may. You can go to my website, olive maeve.com. Yeah, I'd like to

43:54

put the details we've actually literally got those in the show notes. So if people want to follow you find out more about your journey. Maybe keep in touch with you to see where you're at with your you know, your journey and where you may be travelling to. At least that was beautiful. I absolutely love talking with you today. So thank you very much.

44:16

Thank you for having me. It was such a pleasure to be on and start to work through things with you.

44:22

My pleasure, Hudson happiness gorgeous. I will see about I see Catherine