Cultivating the courage to step into your purpose with Bree Element


Have you found yourself asking… is this all there is? What if you got everything you ever thought you wanted – or were told by society you should have – and still felt empty and alone? What if the suburban dream was more like a nightmare? In this episode Catherine talks with guest Bree Element about identifying your purpose – but more importantly, having the courage to step into that purpose. For Bree, it starts with building a white timber church in her backyard.

Bree is an in-demand marketer, storyteller, and content strategist locally and nationally. She’s worked with some of Australia’s most iconic brands, from Sydney Opera House and to Channel Nine.  A mum of three, who runs two businesses, she still feels like there’s something missing…  Bree is hoping she has the courage to answer her true calling in the months to come.

In this episode you’ll also hear:
– the important difference having a mentor when you’re young makes in the trajectory of your career
– why there’s a significance between the goal line and the soul line
– how both Bree and Catherine find the courage to be who they truly are
– why the secret ingredient to lasting success is the courage to be happy
– how to get clarity about what you want to do and the steps to get there… and so much more!

Join Catherine’s membership The Happiness Lounge here

Connect with Catherine here:

Connect with Bree Element here:
IG – @bree_qnews
FB – @breeelement

This podcast is produced by Nikki Voxx from Quintessential Being

Read Full Transcript

Speaker 1 0:00
This is going to be such a great chat today. Have you ever had that feeling that something's missing from your life? I know I certainly have. And what if you got everything that you thought you wanted? Or what society told you that you should have? You still felt empty and alone? What if that suburban dream was more like a nightmare. My guest today the beautiful brave element knows this feeling all too well. And it's partly responsible for her daily struggle with generalised anxiety and panic disorders. Brees, an in demand marketer, storyteller and content strategist, so locally and superstar internationally, and she's worked with some of Australia's most iconic brands from the Sydney Opera House, real and Channel Nine, one of our TV stations here at 45. She's a mom of three vans to businesses. That still feels like something's missing from her life. And Reina Bree and I connected reconnected just recently Bree was one of the presenters at happiness hangouts in their very early days. And when we reconnected we kind of got onto this topic of, you know, is that all there is in life is you know, something missing? So we're going to dive into that and talk more about identifying your purpose and most importantly, having the courage to step into that purpose. And for Bri, it starts with building a white timber church in her backyard. Oh, my goodness, great. Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. How are you?

Speaker 2 1:41
I'm so good. I've had an interesting morning. I've been in tears and I've been happy and I've been just like, talking to you is just pulled up all this stuff. It's just reconfirming everything I already know. So it's fine. It is so good to see you. I'm loving those earrings. I somehow forgot to wear. Yeah, some amazing earrings.

Speaker 1 2:03
Right? Some of them are listening, so they won't even know just pretend you've got kicked out.

Unknown Speaker 2:08
So much for having me. Thank you for having

Speaker 1 2:11
me. Aubrey, this is gonna be a great topic. And I know a lot of the women listening and the blokes too. I know a lot of them will probably relate to this, like so many things that we've talked about already. But before we dive into, you know, finding your purpose and how that sense of something missing is impacting your life. I want to know a little bit more about you. You're an iconic local, you're a queen. And for those of you listening internationally, Queen Bee and is a border city to Canberra. So Canberra is the capital of Australia in the Australian Capital Territory Quinby and is our border city. But basically they merged together so an iconic local Have you always lived in Colombia?

Speaker 2 2:58
Yes, I was born at what was then working Valley Hospital. And I always say My life changed for the better when I came home to Queen yen two or three days later, so I was actually born in Canberra, but yes, definitely raised in Queensland. Definitely. Indian girl. Actually a friend of mine gave me the best compliment she said you put the queen in Queanbeyan love this, she wrote my tagline for me. So

Unknown Speaker 3:28
that's cool. The query Queanbeyan Yes.

Unknown Speaker 3:31
Very proud. Local. Yeah,

Speaker 1 3:33
I think that's great. I love that proud local. You might have alienated the fuels for Canberra, locals here.

Speaker 2 3:40
No, no, don't get me wrong Canberra as the other great love of my life. It's a real struggle between which two I love more Canberra or Queanbeyan. And you know if any locals have read any of my writing, you can tell that I'm deeply in love with Canberra as well. Yeah, no need to worry. There's plenty of love around

Unknown Speaker 4:00
you absolutely a proud what was growing up like for you?

Speaker 2 4:03
Look, it was great. Like, what can I say? I'm the eldest of four children. Definitely grew up in the suburban lifestyle where dad was a public servant and mum stayed at home. We were really lucky. I wasn't really competent kid. I was a really competitive kid. I probably wasn't the smartest but because I was competent and competitive. I would always top the class. It was kind of a mix of those two things. Yeah, I loved I love school because it was social. And I love learning. So I just loved school. And, you know, straight out of high school landed a job as a journalist on the local newspaper. They don't kind of do these traineeships anymore. It was called a cadet ship. But that really fed my sense of curiosity and my need for variety and probably a little bit of you know, ADHD. They were I was doing something different every day. But it really was my training ground in being in becoming a storyteller. And so, you know, being a storyteller is just the greatest gift and a greatest honour of my life. And I'm so thankful that I'm just so curious about the world around me to be able to share. You know, my mindset is, if I find it fascinating, there's a really high chance someone else will, you know, if I find something interesting, someone else will. So that kind of storytelling an ability to write quick, quickly and well underpin has underpinned my career, and I've been in communications and marketing for about 25 years. So.

Speaker 1 5:33
So you've got the cadetship from school? Was that a conscious choice and decision? Or was it not at

Speaker 2 5:41
all? I had a mentor at the time who, who it's like something from the movie. He was this old Swedish guy, who was actually a filmmaker who'd moved to Queen Ben, and really loved young people wanted to help young people it is so his aim was gonna eyes X. And you know, what was he doing in Queanbeyan? I have no idea. Why did was he so passionate about youth? I don't know. But anyway, Ghana, which, you know, we called him with the name, he got me writing a column for the local paper out when I was like, 1516. So I'd been contributing to the paper as a teenager, believe it or not. And then when I turned 18, he convinced the editor to give me a traineeship. So it really was a little bit of, you know, me wanting, I knew I wanted to be a journalist, and you had kind of it actually know that, that this, this man who just happened to be at my life, in the right time, helped me with the gift of then getting a job doing,

Speaker 1 6:41
you know, what I love and how, and how I've got an 18 year old daughter, and you know, she's struggling with what do I do? What do I do? And it's like, you know, do what you like, you don't know what you want to do when you're 18. But I actually landed in something that was perfect for me, like so rare. And I think yeah, I think that, that that is where the thing I'm finding more and more that's maybe not as rare, is that when people are going through sort of different elements of life, there's somebody there that sees something in them that they don't often see for themselves. And that's the catalyst to be able to go down a different path in life, is what I saw, it is rare, and it's very special. So lovely, that you have somebody that kind of saw something in you and opened an opportunity. That's really cool. That's an, you know, talking about really having mentors at 1618. Like, however many years ago, that was, that's a fairly rare thing to agree, really, like powerful. So you just don't, you know, years and years later, because I had people in my life that did something similar when I was in the workplace, and I was just angry, 19 year old that hated the world. Somebody saw something in me, and that just opened up the doors that led to my career. Just amazing, and so grateful. And I would not have even, it's not till years later that I went are actually that was really important. Yeah. So we get to do that, hopefully with others. Yeah, no break when we were jumping online, before when we had a little chat about how you're going and just getting our heads in the zone, you actually shared with me that you felt quite vulnerable about the recording. Now your account, you've already said this, and I know this, you are confident you are competent. What was that vulnerability and that kind of nervousness about

Speaker 2 8:47
it was probably a couple of things or many different things. So one is, I always want to be of help. One is I really saw this as an opportunity to help. And my anxiety was saying to me, no one will care about what you're saying. You know, I just I really, I worried about whether this would help people at all, you know, me, oh, it's just you talking about yourself? No one cares. You know, this is and for some people with anxiety, they'll understand this. And so I just was really anxious about this being a helpful tool. And I think just by being here, I really hope that some of what I say resonates with someone, if one person is you know, driving along listening and I say something that resonates I think I've done that job. I think I've helped in some small way. That was kind of one thing is I want to be helpful. And you know, my brain is telling me you're not helpful. And I think the other thing is, you know, is this massive realise little realisation but I'm free reconfirming of what I'm meant to be doing in my life. I read around I know deeply what my purpose is, and and being a part of this podcast for you know, 40 minutes or so. He is really aligned with that purpose. And it felt really like the floodgates open, I was crying. And I was like, Oh, my God, this is actually eat, you know, this is this is what I meant to be doing. So yeah, like,

Speaker 1 10:13
I'm gonna cry, and I'm gonna have I've got goose bumps, and I've just got so many things that so many levels there. And when we reconnected just recently, I know we had this same, you know, alignment of where we act like there was just a very powerful energetic alignment. And when you've said there about, I'm not sure if what I say is going to be helpful. And it's interesting, isn't it, how the mind works, because, you know, at one level that it will help others by sharing your storyteller, you're sharing your story, and people relate to stories. And there will be so many people that relate to what you're sharing. But it's interesting, isn't it, how our minds the power of our minds. And I've had to work through that too. Because with the podcast, my goal is to be able to chat with women who have got stories, and every woman has an inspiring story. And it's amazing the feedback I get from all lot of the listeners about a guest I've had, and how that guest is impacted that person really powerfully. So I know that what you're going to share is actually going to be of use, but it's more about what it brings up in yourself, isn't it? Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 11:33
Just as important, which I didn't realise. Yeah,

Speaker 1 11:36
yeah, yeah. And there was another thing around that, too. There are people out there that absolutely need to hear your message. And one of the things I found because I do a lot of work with women about confidence, and, you know, letting go of those old stories in limiting beliefs, when we get off ourselves and stop thinking, Oh, is my story going to be, you know, good enough, thinking about the people and you kind of did this as well, guy. If there's just one person that resonates? It's all worth it. And it's about when we get off ourselves and go, Well, how can we help others?

Speaker 2 12:12
Correct? I'm so desperate to help that I get anxious about helping.

Speaker 1 12:17
And that might be that might there might be a key there as well. Yeah, there's some boundaries. So once you're you mentioned about you just know deeply what your purpose is. Tell me about that. Because a lot of people say to me, I don't know what my purpose is. I don't know how to find my purpose. I don't believe what my purpose is. So what what's your deep feeling about what your purpose is?

Speaker 2 12:41
It's so interesting, because it I remember, like this moment, and it was in at the end of 2013, where I just woke up You know, and before then I lived this like actually really happy life with phenomenal jobs. And you know, two beautiful kids and this love, you know, my partner, lovely man. And you know, I was just living this blissful life, that kind of this level. And then I was reading something. And it was written in a way that was like, it was about being you know, like a boss spade, and a total boss, bitch. And I didn't know, at this point, I have no, I have no reason to be reading this. But that the person writing it was like, You're not like the others. You're different. You're here for a deeper purpose. You know, I get you babe, and I'm gonna help you coach you into this amazing business. And I was like, oh my god, someone just spoke to me. Cool. I want to just spoke to me in a way I've never spoken to before. And you know, I am different. And yeah, you there is something more than this. Oh my god. And you know, it's just fairly innocuous boss, babe, you know, language, but it just really and then I woke up. And then the first part one of the first books I read was actually Rebecca Campbell's light is the New Black. And so you know, Beck is like an Aussie girl who's now living in the UK, and I've been a long time clearly a longtime supporter. When I read light is the New Black. I was like, Holy shit, I'm meant to be a lightworker. So so my date purpose is to be a light worker is to light up. And when I picture myself in the ultimate state of being where I've achieved ultimate self actualization, I'm in a room leading, leading a conversation with primarily women around spiritual revolution and spiritual change. And just that uplift of you know, the entire universe. So, you know, really small stuff. Which is actually really big stuff. And that vision and that vision of what I meant to be doing is about light and ease and making the complex simple and community and support Light and deep love. So that's right, you know, and I was referred to myself as a high priestess jokingly. But that's actually that's actually where I would love to be.

Speaker 1 15:12
And isn't that interesting when, at the beginning of this chat, the queen of Queen began, High Priestess, and light worker. And it's really I'm gonna unpack this a little bit, because you sort of said, you know, in 2013, I woke up. And it's almost not a lot of people I know, experienced their version of that, that life is something and then there's something that triggers to go are, there's something more. And it's about paying attention to what that something more could be. And it's, and you're explaining it like a light worker, to share that light and positivity. What I'm not hearing and you sort of saying, being a high priestess and sharing spirituality, that it's the essence of what your purpose is, and how it manifests might be quite different for you than it is for other people. And I think that's the stage you're at is how am I going to? What's my next stage in the journey to actually manifest and become that? So before we go there, when we're talking about what is our purpose? And that sounds absolutely beautiful. And you know, same, same, same, same, but different? Yes. For some of us, our purpose is to be a really lovely, good supportive friend, or to be a nurturing mum, or, or parent or, you know, dog sitter, or something. I think sometimes we kind of get a little bit confused with purpose having to be this really grandiose. Yeah, for some people, it is some people say it is yeah, yeah. And one thing I experienced in the last couple of years, I had the sense that my purpose was to save humanity. So if you think you're your purpose, when

Speaker 2 17:19
I say your high priestess, and I raise us save humanity and like, whoa.

Speaker 1 17:25
But you know what, I never went around going, I have to save humanity, I have to save humanity. This came out through an iterative process of self reflection. But what came to me is like, far out, I have this sense that I am responsible for saving humanity. And if you can feel the weight of what that is, I felt this over responsibility. And the way that manifested was, I just felt responsible to make everything okay for everybody. And it wasn't like it, you know, I had boundaries in place that it was this internal weight that I carried. And through the process, and this is the guidance I got from they said, Now, Catherine, you've kind of taken your mandate for this lifetime, you've kind of misinterpreted what we want you to do. So your job isn't to save humanity, because no one person can do that. Your job is to actually spread light, spread love, and help individuals to live their best lives. And by doing that, you're sprinkling your magic and your positivity, that's actually helping humanity to be a better place. So when I got that insight, so this insight was through, you know, self reflection, my connection with my guides, there was this whole relief braid that just went, thank goodness. Yeah. And it really helped me to just set some other boundaries in place. So I guess the reason I'm sharing that is when we come in, and we feel that we have this really big purpose, because you've said also, you know, I just want to help everybody. That's right. It can be tiring and taxing. So it's about how do you do the light worker bit and be the high priestess which you can absolutely which you already are. But without that added burden of over responsibility?

Speaker 2 19:25
Absolutely. And there's, you know, there's things I already do around light work that I used to do probably more frequently that I don't anymore, but it's just you know, telling my own story and seeing telling the truth, and sharing how I feel and sharing tips for you know, how I deal with my anxiety but also showing deep gratitude for the things I haven't there's all different types of lightwork for some reason, I've got this picture. Yeah, my wife timber church and me, which is a really religious picture right? I'm in no way religious and no way If you don't want to be in any of those formalised structures with being a practical Yeah, you're right. I, there's lots of ways of being a light worker. Yeah, that I, that I'm, I would say I'm I do better

Speaker 1 20:19
say you already are doing that through your you've been given the gift of writing and storytelling that's being a light worker. And just by you one of the things I always think about as well for myself, but for others is when we show up authentically an S we are. That's being a light worker 100%. Because what we're doing is we are comfortable and confident to be ourselves, you know, with all the bits that go with, sometimes need to polish a few of those edges. We're comfortable. I think other people say that. And then it kind of helps them to be comfortable to be who they are. And without all this pretence of having to be better or should be doing something or like you said all those societal expectations. Goodness,

Unknown Speaker 21:19
yeah. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 21:21
So do you have a white church or your

Speaker 2 21:24
husband who's a cabinet maker, so almost a carpenter. So I buy the woods. I also don't have a backyard. I will manifest all of this you watch and you know, and you will come to the breezes basically,

Unknown Speaker 21:47
races. Oh.

Unknown Speaker 21:51
Praise braises

Unknown Speaker 21:52
oh my gosh, you've got that all planned out. You've got that

Speaker 2 21:56
kind of mind came up with that. And it's hilarious. It's a joke.

Unknown Speaker 22:00
It's a joke. Joke, but not joke.

Speaker 2 22:03
Joke, but also dream, right? One of my fears. One of my big anxieties is people just thinking that I'm crazy, right? Saying her guy, you know, listening to this and going, oh my god, this woman wants to be a priest s with a tent with a church in their backyard. Like what? And people just thinking that I'm really scared of being seen as like this woowoo hippie crazy, she's lost the plot kind of person, you know, I just really are from fairly, fairly. How do you describe it? Not rigid, but fairly. I'm from a household where

Unknown Speaker 22:41
20 kind of mainstreaming.

Speaker 2 22:45
Yeah, a household where religion wasn't really talked about, we just kind of went to Scripture at school. And you know, we never talked about spirituality and, and that's no one's fault. It just wasn't a thing. So now when I talk about it, and I'm really, I'm just really unlike I don't want people to think I've lost the plot of this real anxiety of you know, Brees lost her mind. And that that's just one of my fears. Right. I'm stepping into who I met today. And my ego and everything else is, you know, screaming, don't do these people. You know, you're gonna ruin your life. People think you're crazy people, everything screaming at me to not be my true self. And I need to have the courage to be my true self is me trying to find the courage to be who I truly am. And Tony Robbins, I know he's polarising like people either love him or hate him. And I love him. He talks about the inner and the outer game, in terms of the outer game. Like I'm pretty successful, you know, I've got from, you know, from other people's points of view, or, you know, from what success looks like from the outside. I've got you know, I've got a house. I've got three kids. I've got my hubby. I've got two businesses. I'm a storyteller. I'm, you know, and then the inner game. So my outer games pretty strong. And then my inner game is like, aldea, you know, like not, it's like, I'm not even close to living the life that will bring me true fulfilment. I'm not even close.

Speaker 1 24:23
I reckon there will be so many people that will go, oh, my gosh, she's just talking directly to me. And also, I was actually talking with a client yesterday who explained it kind of the same. She said, I'm externally confident people see, I get stuff done. I'm pretty capable. But on the inside, I have this fear and self doubt running. And people don't. You know, when I say I'm not ready for something, people go, no, no, you're fine. You're really capable. And then that kind of pushes her into this next level of something. And I've experienced that as well. Like I've had that same external No very, very competent, internally going, what the fuck am I even doing? A lot of?

Speaker 2 25:07
Yeah, we spend our entire lives on the outer game. So I've done I've got a nice car, but the house, I've got the, you know leading the way I've got businesses, I've got three kids, I'm doing everything that everyone wanted me to do and what I thought I wanted to do. And now that I've got it all, and I've got, you know, I start to go to the inner game, and oh my god, I've I've one neglected my inner game, I don't have an inner game. I don't know what an inner game is. But I know that I'm desperately lonely and unhappy, and constantly feel like something's missing and worrying all the time. I'm worried all the time, because I'm not close to that inner game, or not work on my inner game. Yeah, I, and then that brings the anxiety, doesn't that correct. That's where the anxiety kind of comes. Because it's that constant worry. So it's really interesting, isn't it? Because anxiety manifests in so many different ways. And we can see some patterns there for you that it's about, like,

Speaker 1 26:10
I do have a really great life. But actually, I don't feel that I have a great life. And this almost this, you know, forces against each other. And one of the ways I look at that, like, I've been studying spiritual psychology the last, like intensely the last couple of years, and the way that they describe it is that we have the goal line in life. And we have the soul line, which is probably similar to what you're talking about. So the goal line is the ego driven. What is it that I'm wanting to manifest in the here and now that you know, the house, the car, the husband, you know, the diamonds, the holidays there? And it's important, I think, you know, for people to have their versions of success and happiness around the goal line. But it's also very common for people to neglect that soul. That internal, what am I actually he for? What am I what is my soul yearning for me to do? And I can hear that there's a conflict for you. And what I can also hear Bri is, it's not okay for me to do what I really want to do. Correct? Cause people will laugh, people will make fun, so that there's something wrong with woowoo spirituality. So yes, yeah, yep. So So one of the things that I do when I'm working with clients, and for myself as well going well, why can't like Where's that coming from? Where's that feeling? Of it's not okay. For me to do what I want. Where does that come from? And sometimes that's a obvious response. A lot of the time people say, I don't know, like, I really don't know where that comes from. But I would hazard a guess that it's come from some conditioning in upbringing, that it's come from some events in life that have imprinted on our subconscious and have been reinforced through a whole lot of things that we do. And my belief system is that we've probably come into this life with that imprint as well. So for lessons to learn, so what is it for you that you feel that it's not okay to be the High Priestess?

Speaker 2 28:31
Ah, so, the High Priestess is my purpose. But there's this, this sense of not being who all of you, right, so I'm not successful out again, but I'm not being all of me, which leads to unfulfillment. And so, you know, I read this quote, and it was like, you know, if 25,000 monks meditated for an hour on the same thing, what the essence of what they would come come up with, is, be you Yes, that they, all of you. So there's been yourself and people can claim they're being authentic, but if you it takes immense courage, maturity and wisdom to be all of you and like, mostly bravery is where I struggle. Am I being all of me? With my husband? No. Am I being all of me as breather mum? No. Am I being all of me as Bri you know, all of the internal thing relationships? No. And so, you know, to be all of me, there's some pretty outrageous things that that would, you know, embarrass. Probably my family would definitely embarrass my mom would totally rock the foundation of probably My marriage would would potentially embarrass my kids would, you know, it's, it's how do I have the courage? How am I going to have the courage to do what I know I want to do to lead to deep fulfilment, when all of these other stakeholders could be left in the dark, you know, could be, I could alienate all of it's the fear of Marvel know that for

Speaker 1 30:25
sure. Do you know you will? No, no, no. Sometimes it's stuff that we tell ourselves in tell ourselves. And it's also like, to me, what comes forward for me when I meet people, and they go, this is me, I don't give a shit what people think I'm going to be me regardless. And part of me goes, oh, good on you for being so comfortable and confident in yourself, but it's what is the impact of you being you having on other people? So I don't think my belief is others probably might think differently is that, yes, be ourselves. But also be be very cognizant about what being ourselves might mean. And we do have to adapt as we do have to adapt. And we don't show everything in every situation. And what I've experienced, like I'm always pretty authentic, but I've had a very carefully curated filter, about which bits I will show and I still, I still do have that filter, some. Sometimes sometimes I don't. But I'm really, I've been able to, I guess, dissolve some of the ones that were there as a barrier and not allow people in thinking it's not okay for me. I don't know. It's not okay for me to do certain things. Correct. Like, what the fuck am I even thinking? Yes. Sorry, I've gone off track there as well.

Speaker 2 31:57
Okay, you're thinking about your own journey. I'm a journalist, and I'm asking you questions.

Speaker 1 32:05
About that, feeling like something's missing that, like, we can kind of fill in the gaps for you about what doesn't feel okay for me to do it. Because it might really rock the foundations of things that are really important to me. So how can you still fulfil your desires? And bring others on the journey? And like, then they they your responsibility? Because, yeah, what do you reckon about that?

Speaker 2 32:36
Look, if you know, the heart, the process thing is, is my thoughts, you know, the people around me would just laugh, but I think ultimately, they'd support it. Yes, I agree. And don't get me wrong. The process thing is not something I've really ever spoken about. I really have only spoken about her here. And so

Unknown Speaker 33:02
little space between us.

Speaker 2 33:04
One of my listen to this podcast, people will be hearing, like I told my sister a couple of weeks ago, and that was kind of the first time I'd actually, you know, told her I joked about it, but I told her, and she said, Oh man, did you just go Kanye? Oh, my ass, you know, like and she's like, you've watched way too much. I'm the colour purple, you know, because that's that church. I can spirituality and she laughed. But I think ultimately, she would, she would just be like, What do you want to do? I'll help you. Like, if I'm if I'm real about it. They would help me they would laugh and think it was a phase potentially, but they would help me think they would help me. Me, there are other some other aspects of me that I find that I've, that I can't that I can't step into, and what and haven't been able to step into and, and so I suppress. Right. And so when you're I think I think women spend a lot of time suppressing. Yes, yes, yes. Yes, suppressing. Yeah. And that makes me see, you know, like, it makes me mentally unwell. Potentially physically unwell. God, you know, God knows. But yeah, the suppressing is, is Yeah, is making me very mentally unwell. So very anxious. And

Speaker 1 34:27
is it worth to continue suppressing and continue with the discomfort rather than breaking through that for some discomfort, but stepping into that? Gorgeous, fabulous? Freedom? I would suggest that that probably. Is it and that's where Yeah, yeah, I don't know the answers to that. That's where you need to weigh up, but it's about Yep. Suppressing is not great. And it's the fear of if I do step into what I really they want to do, that might not be great either. But I think what would come with that is a sense of freedom. And that, you know, maybe you're came into the life with the same thinking I had about this, you know, over responsibility for others and how they might respond, because I believe that we all have our own personal curriculum for this lifetime. And our lessons are ours, and sometimes they cross over with other people. But they have their lessons as well. And sometimes we suppress, because we think we're protecting others, what we're actually doing is stopping them from learning their life lessons and their life curriculum. So it's, you know, I don't pack that's, that's a hard one, when it crosses close in your life.

Speaker 2 35:51
I think a lot of women get to the point of, is it more painful to suppress and keep going away I am, or to just, you know, completely rock the foundation of everything and step into it, you know, it can't nothing's, you know, it's sad. But you get to a point where I can't do this anymore. So whatever.

Speaker 1 36:10
Yes, yeah. But you can also do it in a way that isn't going to blow up the bridge. And you can do it. Maybe in a way that is yes, I'm stepping into what, who I want to be but I'm not. I can do it in a way. That isn't a explosion to others as well. You know, we're talking fairly high level stuff, you know, much

Unknown Speaker 36:39
like I should be paying for this session, like

Speaker 1 36:45
I'll send you but you know what, I think this is beautiful Bray, because there is so many women, I know that there are women because there's women that in my community that have said almost what you're saying they've got their version of the theme. And their version of the the suppression, that the suppression is there that there's something missing is there for some of them. Life isn't life scored, but life isn't kind of what I want. And is it okay for me to want more when it's, you know, okay,

Speaker 2 37:17
try. I've got everything like, why am I why do I still feel lonely? Why do I, you know, how selfish am I and be thankful there are others in worse situations, and finally guilty for feeling empty and lonely, but you can't help it. That's just how I feel.

Speaker 1 37:36
Yes. And I think when you acknowledge the feelings, and you go are Yeah, I am empty, I am lonely. It's the internal game, I get that. What am I really what is my soul really yearning for? And I think you've probably got the answers to that. And what is my soul yearning for? And then how can my soul help me to actually make that happen? And how can I do it in a way that is for the highest good of everybody concerned? For me, that's a really important part of my process. How can I do what I want to do? For the highest School of everybody concerned? So that's me, so it meets my needs. And it's also for the highest good of others. And sometimes the highest good for others is not something easy and nice. And roses and stuff, but it is for their highest good. So

Speaker 2 38:35
that is fantastic book written a few years ago called The Happiness Project. Yeah, I forget the author. It was great. But actually, I would love to write a book called The Courage project, and what happens to relationships into you know, your entire adult life when you when you focus on the inner game instead of the outer game.

Speaker 1 38:59
Do you know that's really cool. write that book? Absolutely. I write the foreword for you. Yes, please write the book. And I have on like, one of my taglines is, the secret to my success is the courage to be happy. So it's interesting. You mentioned those two books. But really, the secret to my success is, you know, life wasn't great for a lot of years and I wasn't happy and I didn't think it was okay to be happy. And I made the decision that I didn't want to live the way I was living. I didn't exactly know how I was going to live, but I made the decision that I didn't want to live like that. I made

Speaker 2 39:38
that point. What was it? Were you out of life focus out of game focus.

Speaker 1 39:43
I was fuckface. I was this is on the back. So it's a mum mum passed away when I was young. That left me in a really traumatic state, like, you know, feel lonely, unsure, angry. But externally, I was very quite capable, I had to become independent, quite capable. But it was in my mid 20s, when I just said, I was probably about 2010 years after mum passed away, and I went, I just, I'm tired, I'm exhausted of just being angry and miserable all the time. And it was when I was learning some, you know, getting exposed to different kinds of tools and techniques to help clients, but it was just like, oh, actually, this is helping me. And I made the decision Bray back then to go, I'm going to make it my mission, to live my best and most beautiful life that I can in honour of my mum who died at 30. But in honour of me, in honour of me to, you know, I could either be miserable and shitty for the rest of my life, and what impacts that gonna have, or I can try and, you know, really make a commitment to have a good life. And I've had stuff happen ups and downs and things like that, but the courage to step through what I was going through, to change my life. So for me, it was about being happy. And there's different versions of what happiness means to people. So it was about their courage, I'm with you that courage to actually move beyond where you are. And Ray will have a beautiful book, can you write it quickly? So

Unknown Speaker 41:27
at the end of this year, they go, I've given myself a deadline.

Unknown Speaker 41:30
And you've said it publicly?

Unknown Speaker 41:33
Share if anyone's interested, there we go.

Speaker 1 41:35
Actually, there's probably some people do you know, you could, I think that would be an even going through that process would be cathartic for you to help you through your process, because you've got a sense of what you want to do. I think some of the next steps will be around, getting more clarity about what that could look like. It's not taking action, a lot of people take action too early. And then they do kind of blow up the bridge. But it's about getting clarity, and you won't have the you get clarity about the next step. And then you start doing some stuff around that, then you'll get clarity around the next step. So if you try and get clarity about, what's the whole thing going to look like, now, you just get into this, over analysing. What do I What would I really love to do? What would I really what could that look like? How could I make that happen? How could I do it? Were the people that are important to me in life? Support me? How could How could I do that. And then when you I reckon that's probably where you spend your thoughts, then you'll get clarity around that. And then you'll move into a next phase. And you'll probably meet different people that will open up some opportunities, and then you get clarity into the next phase of things is what I kind of think. for what that's worth, love it. Oh my gosh, pray, we could talk forever, ever and ever. And we will be talking again. So breeze going to be a guest at the happiness hangout here in Canberra. So for those of you listening to this podcast, and you want to actually get to meet Bree in real person, and chat with her and ask questions, come along to the happiness hangout on the seventh of June. Any last little tips you'd like to share with anyone? What does fill your cup? Let me ask what fills your cup?

Speaker 2 43:42
Lots of different things that I don't do not slowly. That's one thing, taking more slowly focusing on now. Being creative writing, I do a lot of writing but not writing that I necessarily not writing for myself. Just really simple things, but also outrageous things as well. dressing up as a Playboy bunny, for example.

Speaker 1 44:11
Where can people find you on social? Because I think they follow you. Yeah,

Speaker 2 44:15
I'm at free underscore Q news is probably the best one on Instagram.

Speaker 1 44:20
Yeah. And we'll have all those details in the show notes as well so people can get confirmed. Thank you so much. There's a lot there that why am I today? I think yeah, people relate to

Speaker 2 44:31
it totally didn't go the way I thought it would. But that's like good. Thank you for having me. It's gorgeous. I guess you

Speaker 1 44:42
and if anybody wants more of what you heard today, pop over to the happiness hive website, which is happiness hyphen hive and sign up to the newsletter. Because I do I do share tips and just life hacks and different things. In the newsletter each week so if you want to sign up I'd love you to there and we also have the links to the podcast so thank you hugs and happiness bye

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