The Yes Trap: Why Saying Yes Isn't Always the Kindest Answer

Hey, gorgeous!

Let’s talk about something we’ve all done—saying yes when we really mean no.

You know that feeling. That little knot in your stomach when someone asks for a favour, invites you to something, or offers an opportunity that just doesn’t feel right.

But instead of listening to your gut, you say yes. Because you don’t want to let them down. Because you don’t want to seem difficult. Because it feels easier in the moment.

I’ve been there. So many times. And recently, I’ve been reflecting on how this impacts not just me but also others when they say yes to me but don’t actually mean it.

Let’s unpack this yes trap together.

When Saying Yes Leads to Resentment

I used to say yes just to avoid disappointing people. I’d tell myself, It’s not that big of a deal, or Maybe it’ll turn out ok.

But deep down, I knew. I didn’t want to do it. And yet, I’d still agree.

The result? Resentment. Not just towards the situation, but towards myself for ignoring my intuition.

A client I recently worked with was stuck in the same cycle. She was overcommitting, saying yes to things that weren’t aligned, and then feeling exhausted and frustrated.

When we say yes to things that don’t feel right, we bring that misaligned energy with us. Even if we do a great job, it’s not our best work. And worse—it drains us.

The Impact of Others Saying Yes When They Should Say No

This one hit me hard recently.

Since moving to my beautiful coastal community, I’ve been eager to connect with like-minded people. I started chatting with local business owners about creating social and networking events.

They were so enthusiastic, full of yes energy. But when it came time to follow through, they backed away.

Some avoided the conversation altogether. Others straight-up told me they weren’t interested—after they had been the ones encouraging it!

And I get it. Life is busy. We can’t do everything.

But wouldn’t it have been kinder if they had just said no in the first place? Instead of building up an expectation, only to pull away later?

It made me reflect on my own past behaviour. How many times had I done that to someone else?

The Courage to Say No

So, what’s the solution? Learning to say no with confidence. And, more importantly, without guilt.

If you struggle with this, try these simple responses:

• That sounds amazing, but it’s not the right fit for me right now.

• I appreciate the offer, but I’ll have to pass this time.

• Let me think about it and get back to you. (This one’s a game-changer!)

For me, a huge shift came from understanding my Human Design. My decision-making authority is emotional, meaning I need to ride the emotional wave before making big decisions.

Now, if something is going to have a big impact on my life or business, I never say yes on the spot. I give myself time to sit with it, feel it out, and make sure it’s truly aligned.

Saying No Is Actually Kinder

Here’s what I know, and have experienced—saying no upfront is kinder than saying yes and backing out later. It saves everyone time, energy, and unnecessary disappointment.

So, let’s make a pact. Let’s stop falling into the yes trap. Let’s honour our intuition, trust our gut, and be courageous enough to say no when we need to.

Because life is too fabulous to be weighed down by commitments that don’t light us up.

Hugs, happiness, and keep being fabulous!

Big love,